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There are a lot of people in everyone’s life and but there is always someone that you have a special connection with and for me that is my mom. She’s like my best friend and I’ve never met someone that wants to have as much fun as her. Everyone also has a lot of memories in their life and there are some memories that will stay with you forever. Those two things can be the best part of your life. But sometimes things change and it’s not always a good thing. Sometimes you don’t you don’t know why they happen and sometimes you even think I could have been the reason for why things happen but I had  to learn the hard way that just because my mom did what she did it wasn’t all my fault.

My name is Alyssa my mom is the one who named me she told me that she picked it because she liked the meaning. My name means Noble, of good cheer. She wanted me to always be happy and she wanted to be able to trust me so she thought this name was perfect. My mom’s name is Stacey. My mom is the strongest women I’ve ever met.  My mom is always happy but she can randomly be really sad. No one will know why she’s said because she won’t tell anyone.

My mom used to be married but my parents got a divorce, and that’s when it all started. My mom was so happy with my dad….well that’s what me and my brothers and sister thought. but one day they called us into a room and they looked furious, my mom was crying when she told us that she couldn’t take it anymore , I asked her what she couldn’t take because honestly I was mad because they made us think that there was no problems in our family but out of nowhere they want a divorce. I guess I was just confused but what did you expect. After my mom moved out I was so depressed my parents made me take therapy because they saw that I had cuts on my wrist. And bloody pencil sharpener blades in my room. I tried to tell my dad that it was paint but we both knew it wasn’t at all paint. 

My mom got an apartment and we started going over to her house every weekend because she lived to far from school. I liked it over at my mom’s house so much better my dad was always so angry, I mean my mom was sad and down a lot but she didn’t yell at us all the time. I just didn’t like being around my dad. A couple months after my parents’ divorce I started feeling a little bit better because I was starting to get used to what was happening. Then one day after school I was up in my room reading a book it was the new twig light book that just came out and was about to finish chapter 3 when my dad walked in my room and asked me and my sister to please come down stairs, I finished my chapter and ran down the curved stairs that led to the hall way where the kitchen followed. I walked around the Conner into the kitchen and there was some short women standing in the kitchen. I was really confused on whom she was and why she was leaning on my sink but I smiled to try to hide my feelings. My dad walked in from the door at the end of the counter and he was smiling from ear to ear. He came into the kitchen and paused, he said “guys I hope you guys are okay with this but I want you to know that this is a fresh start for me, this women here is Yana and she’s my new girlfriend” my insides froze and all the thoughts in my mind started spinning I had no idea what to say so I got up and walked back up stairs into my room and shut the door the first thing I wanted to do is get my pencil sharpener again but I knew it wasn’t going to change anything so I just sat in my floor with my back against my door and started crying.

            Yana started coming to our house more and she brought her kids over sometimes it really made me mad because her and my dad made me watch all of the kids while they go on dates. But they didn’t ask if I could they just expected me to and I guess it was ok because it was my dad but I had to watch Yana’s kids also. She had two girls and two boys. The boys were so rowdy and one of the girls stole from me and my sister every time she came over. I mean I have no respect anymore; I don’t have it form other people or myself. I started going over to my mom’s because I didn’t like it at my dad’s at all he didn’t yell as much but he just wasn’t the fun dad that he was when he was with mom. When I was at my mom’s house it was a little bit different because she had a new person in her life named Jason I really liked him but just like Yana he didn’t compare to my dad. 

            I’ve been feeling a lot better lately and i got a boyfriend and I’m starting like the new parents in my life. My dad isn’t so tense anymore and he’s really loving I don’t even think about cutting myself. My brothers and I are closer than ever and Yana’s kids are starting to feel like my brothers and sisters. So I don’t ever mind watching them. My mom and Jason are fighting though and I think they might break up but I’m trying to keep happy thoughts in my mind, the last thing I need right now is drama.

            (A couple of weeks later)

            Ok so I said that I don’t need drama well the last 3 weeks have been nothing but that, my mom and Jason broke up I’m not to talk to him anymore and my brother won’t stop hitting me. Every time I walk by him I flinch because I’m scared he’s going to do something to me. I’m not really sure why he’s so angry but I think it’s because his girlfriend broke up with him. My dad and Yana are fighting. I’m tired of this happening over and over again….. My mom hasn’t talked to me for about 2 weeks and if she has its just about 1 sentence and then she goes back into her room. She quit her job and so now she doesn’t really leave the house unless she’s going to get food for us kids.im not sure what I’m supposed to do I hope see knows I love her.

I just had my friend Hayley over she’s a close family friend so I told her what’s going on and she said that I need to talk to my mom and let her know how I feel so she knows that she effecting me and let her know that I’m worried about her so when Hayley went home I went into my mom’s room and I told her that I really care about her and she’s not acting normal I told her that I’m worried about her and I think she needs to get out  of the house and get a job. I explain to her that the house is a mess and she needed to pay the bills which she hasn’t done in at least 3 weeks. “Alyssa I can understand why you’re so mad at me and I understand this is hard for you” my mom said in the smallest voice. I told her that I’m not mad I’m just worried. “Ok Alyssa I promise I will go out and get another job, but I’m going to need your help with your brothers and sister does you thinks you can help me with that?” I told her that I would do anything that could help. I told my mom that she needed to also get out and have fun because it’s not good to be in your house all the time. So my mom also promised that she would go out to dinner with her friend lacey. I had to go back to my dad’s house but I wasn’t worried about leaving my mom as much as I was, so that made me feel better.

            The next night I called my mom to see if she was ready for her night out and she didn’t answer so I just thought she was busy so I texted her, and she didn’t answer that either. So then I thought that she might of when out already. But then about an hour later lacey called me and asked where my mom was. I said that she was supposed to be with her. Lacey told me that she drove to her apartment and she wasn’t in there, she said she started yelling around the house and my mom didn’t answer.

I RAN down stairs and told my dad that we needed to go see if mom was ok he didn’t know what was going on so he wasn’t moving very fast I started crying because I knew she was doing something that she would regret and I was the one to stop her. I got my dad to understand that I was really scared for her so he drove me over to her house and I checked every room and when I got to her bathroom. The door was locked with the light on so I knocked on the door and no one answered. I knocked again and no one answered. I knew she was in there so I called for my dad and he came over and literally kicked the door open. When I looked inside I saw my mom lying on the floor with alcohol spilt on the floor and stomach and pain and birth pills all over the floor. My mom’s arms were turning blue and her face was white. I kneeled down next to her and checked her pulse thank god she was still alive but if we didn’t get to the hospital we would lose her.  My dad called lacey luckily she was on her way back to the house; she got there about 5 minutes. Lacey and my dad picked my mom up and carried her to my dad’s truck, I got in the back where they laid my mom and I started rubbing her face has soft as I could I didn’t want to lose her I didn’t want her to be gone forever so I was as gentle as I could be. I felt like if I was gentle it would make it all go away. I closed my eyes and prayed to god to help her. My dad was crying as he drove to the hospital. 

            We got to the hospital in about 20 minutes. My dad picked up my mom from the back of the truck, tears rolling out of his eyes. Great drops fell from his eyes; the heavy rainclouds in his mind let loose their turbulent nature. You could tell that he was scared, and he ran her inside he started screaming.” I need a doctor, someone please come help my wife, you need to save her, you need to help her NOW please …” about 7 doctors came rushing to my dad and put my mom on a bed and ran back through the big white doors a couple feet away from the desk in front. A doctor came up to me and my dad and asked if he could talk to us. My dad kept asking if she was going to be ok, if she’s going to live. The doctor was amazingly calm; he was the only one who could seem to get my dad to stop talking for at least 5 minutes.  Once my dad calmed down the doctor asked us what happened. I explained to him that we found her on the bathroom floor with a bunch of alcohol and pills all around her.  He told us to stay calm and he would keep us updated on what was going to happen from there.     

            A couple hours later the doctor came out to the lobby where I was sleeping on my dad’s lap. My tapped me and told me the doctor was here. I sat up and looked at the doctor he was kind of blurry but I could tell he was there.you r mom/wife tried to commit suicide and she tried to over dose mixing alcohol and drugs at the same time is very dangerous, you’re lucky you got there when you did because if you would of waited any longer than you did she would of past .she was very lucky to live. As our job we have found her a great counselor and she is going to get help, that way this doesn’t have to happen again would highly recommend you guys going as a family , I think it might help her understand how you feel, and help you understand her feelings. The doctor told us.

You might want to go home and get some sleep she is not stable enough to go home yet but she should be able to go home in a few days. My dad said ok and thank you. My dad started to walk out as I said” WAIT!!! …can we see her first!” the doctor said that we can but she doesn’t look like she normally does so if I could handle myself then I could go see her. He led me and my dad into the room and before we walked in my dad grabbed my hand, as we walked in he squeezed it harder when he looked at my mom. I looked at my mom in shock her face was a light purple, and her hands looked bruised, her hair was all frizzy and messed up and her eyes looked like a yellowish blue. I walked up to her and grabbed her hand and starred into her eyes hoping for a response but I got nothing, the doctor said that she was still in a deep sleep so that’s why she’s not responsive. My dad sat next me and looked at her also. After a few minutes of silence my dad said that it was time to go, so I let go of my mom and grabbed my dad’s again and walked out of the room on my way out I whispered to my mom that I love her. I thought that if she could hear me she would have wanted to know.

            Our drive home was very quiet and when we got home I went and sat on the couch. My younger brother and sister were already asleep my older brother and my mom’s friend put them to sleep. While we were gone my brother wasn’t really sure what was going on till my mom’s friend helped him understand what she saw when she was there. My brother kind of had a hard time with it. He asked my dad what we did wrong and that’s when my dad started crying saying that it wasn’t our fault, he told my brother and I that we couldn’t have seen this coming. So don’t try blaming any of it on ourselves because it is no one’s fault. My dad told us that we need to get some sleep and then he walked upstairs to his room and shut the door. Me and my brother stayed down stairs and watched a movie.

                A few weeks later we had to go pick my mom and take her home she looked so much better but my grandma stayed with her just in case my grandma stayed with her for about 3 week s and my mom was getting better week by week she was going to counseling and the biggest shock to all of us is she found herself a girlfriend, never would of saw that coming but she did and she makes my mom happy so as long as my mom’s happy I am too.

                

 flash fiction 

I come here hoping to get away for just a little bit. I want it to all go away. I want to get away but I know in my mind “she’s” going to find me sooner than later. The only time I can get away is when I am released to school with no books or an homework done everyone knows school doesn’t last forever, so I hope hiding here help the rest of my miserable days with…my mother.All the kids at school who laugh at me. They don’t understand how it feels to not feel loved they have no idea how hard it is not to steal food. They don’t understand why I cant go outside to play with them.If they lived like me then maybe just maybe they might talk to me, not about me. Or maybe I could have an friend. Until then I don’t think I’ll have anyone to….love me, or anyone to care.

        My name is Courtney. I just want to be like all the other kids I just want to fit in and I want to live with a normal (loving) family that could make me feel like I could fit in, in my own home. Its hard if you’re constantly being made fun of not only by the kids at school but your own mother.

        I come home from school every day not knowing if I’ll be attending my class the next day. I live in my own fear, I have no where to call home, the place I live could only be called hell itself. I feel alone not knowing if other kids live like this; if other kids feel my pain if other kids parents beat them for not getting the chores done on time.  How can I make new friends if my mom doesn’t let my shower when I need it,I go to school smelling horrible everyday? She doesn’t buy me new clothes when my other clothes get to small or ripped. People don’t like hanging out with someone who don’t smell good or aren’t wearing the cool clothes. So I get made fun of because i don’t deserve any of this. i have no self confidence because it’s all been taken from me.

        The teacher at my school ask me a lot of questions about my home.they ask me what I had for breakfast , or what time did I go to sleep or even sometimes they ask about mom. I don’t want to get mom in any kind of trouble so I don’t tell them any thing she does to me.one time the P.E teacher let me take a shower in the locker rooms. I was so happy but mom didn’t like it very much. And she punched me for that and the next day I came to school with a black eye and you know what happens when it gets obvious that someone is being neglected, adults start to get suspicious so they ask questions and they investigate until they get there answer and lucky for me my escape from hell has arrived. The place where I used to go to hide I no longer have to go to anymore and I no longer have to come home from school in wonder of living another day because people have saved me. They saved me by taking me out of that mad house I lived in, so now I come home to a loving home and even though there not the same parents I was born with they’re the only parents that love me and care for me and now that I have the right environment im starting to get my confidence back and that is more important than anything because not only do I have parents to love me I can love myself. 

            -Kayley Johnson

aperture=f/7.1   shutter speed=400   IOS=400   focal length=35mm
i chose this picture because i thought it would be a great way to show emotion.people always jump up and down when there happy!!
i had the flash off it was pretty bright out side.i had the camera horizontal 
i was trying to say that the world can be fun and joyful and life is what you make out of it. and hopefully you make it joyful.
Zoom Info
Camera
Canon EOS DIGITAL REBEL XS
ISO
400
Aperture
f/7.1
Exposure
1/4000th
Focal Length
55mm

aperture=f/7.1   shutter speed=400   IOS=400   focal length=35mm

  1. i chose this picture because i thought it would be a great way to show emotion.people always jump up and down when there happy!!
  2. i had the flash off it was pretty bright out side.i had the camera horizontal 
  3. i was trying to say that the world can be fun and joyful and life is what you make out of it. and hopefully you make it joyful.
aperture=f/9.0   shutter speed=100   IOS=100   focal length=9.7mm
well i was taking of flowers for fun actually,i love the nature setting of pictures i was just having fun with my camera and nature and this is the shot i got.
my flash was off in this picture,my camera was horizontal.
what i wanted to say about this picture is that every part of nature is so beautiful and everyone looks at in there own way but this is the way that i see it. 
Zoom Info
Camera
Fujifilm FinePix F500EXR
ISO
100
Aperture
f/9
Exposure
1/250th
Focal Length
9mm

aperture=f/9.0   shutter speed=100   IOS=100   focal length=9.7mm

  1. well i was taking of flowers for fun actually,i love the nature setting of pictures i was just having fun with my camera and nature and this is the shot i got.
  2. my flash was off in this picture,my camera was horizontal.
  3. what i wanted to say about this picture is that every part of nature is so beautiful and everyone looks at in there own way but this is the way that i see it. 
aperture=f/5.9   shutter speed=100   IOS=100   focal length=29.1mm
i took this picture because this hoop was different then all the other ones it looked older and i thought that i could edit it and make it look pretty cool and i think i did.
my flash was off,my camera was horizontal,and i zoomed it in a lot
what i had to say about the world on this picture is that things get old but they still have meaning to anyone that it matters to. like this basketball hoop is old but kids come and play basketball with it everyday. 
Zoom Info
Camera
Fujifilm FinePix F500EXR
ISO
100
Aperture
f/5.9
Exposure
1/180th
Focal Length
29mm

aperture=f/5.9   shutter speed=100   IOS=100   focal length=29.1mm

  1. i took this picture because this hoop was different then all the other ones it looked older and i thought that i could edit it and make it look pretty cool and i think i did.
  2. my flash was off,my camera was horizontal,and i zoomed it in a lot
  3. what i had to say about the world on this picture is that things get old but they still have meaning to anyone that it matters to. like this basketball hoop is old but kids come and play basketball with it everyday. 
aperture=f/7.1   shutter speed=200   IOS=200  focal length=55mm
i took this picture because i really like nature and i thought it looked really pretty how that rain was on the leaves and i wanted to get the drop hanging off the leaf. it was hard for me to find the right leaf for this picture, and it was hard to find a leaf that had water about to drop like this one but i got it!!
the flash was off, my camera was horizontal, and i used shutter speed on this picture 
what i wanted to say about the world is that it is so pretty and cool. i also wanted to show that hard work pays off because i worked so hard on this picture but i won so that is something that kind of relates to the world we live in 
Zoom Info
Camera
Canon EOS DIGITAL REBEL XS
ISO
200
Aperture
f/7.1
Exposure
1/80th
Focal Length
86mm

aperture=f/7.1   shutter speed=200   IOS=200  focal length=55mm

  1. i took this picture because i really like nature and i thought it looked really pretty how that rain was on the leaves and i wanted to get the drop hanging off the leaf. it was hard for me to find the right leaf for this picture, and it was hard to find a leaf that had water about to drop like this one but i got it!!
  2. the flash was off, my camera was horizontal, and i used shutter speed on this picture 
  3. what i wanted to say about the world is that it is so pretty and cool. i also wanted to show that hard work pays off because i worked so hard on this picture but i won so that is something that kind of relates to the world we live in 
aperture=f/5.6   shutter speed=200   IOS=200   focal length=50mm
i chose this picture because i thought the flowers were really pretty and i want to mess around with my editing and i thought that pink flower are a good emotion picture for happy or beautiful, but then i messed with my editing and that’s how i got the look of the grey almost taking over the flower and so i made it look like the flower was fragile because it was almost dead but not yet so it was fragile.
my camera was horizontal,my flash was off,my exposure was 1/800.
i was trying to say that the world is beautiful at first but then i was trying to say that life is going to be rough but sometimes its not always going to be rough and you have to push trough it being careful about your choices.like these flowers they have something trying to kill them but there pushing through carefully so they don’t lose their peddles.:)
Zoom Info
Camera
Canon EOS DIGITAL REBEL XS
ISO
200
Aperture
f/5.6
Exposure
1/800th
Focal Length
78mm

aperture=f/5.6   shutter speed=200   IOS=200   focal length=50mm

  1. i chose this picture because i thought the flowers were really pretty and i want to mess around with my editing and i thought that pink flower are a good emotion picture for happy or beautiful, but then i messed with my editing and that’s how i got the look of the grey almost taking over the flower and so i made it look like the flower was fragile because it was almost dead but not yet so it was fragile.
  2. my camera was horizontal,my flash was off,my exposure was 1/800.
  3. i was trying to say that the world is beautiful at first but then i was trying to say that life is going to be rough but sometimes its not always going to be rough and you have to push trough it being careful about your choices.like these flowers they have something trying to kill them but there pushing through carefully so they don’t lose their peddles.:)
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